In their book ‘Designing Your Life’, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans defined work as our participation in the great ongoing human adventure on the planet. Doesn’t matter whether you are getting paid or not, but it is the stuff you ‘do’. I like that. Because it means, being a stay at home mother like my friend and sister in law, take care of the house and children, is work. So is writing in this blog without getting paid and with getting only an occasional ‘clap’ (when lucky). Their definition of work somehow comforts me. I am not too useless after all. I at least try to participate in my own life. I haven’t abandoned it (yet).
Speaking of this blog, several days ago I found my recent writing got 18 claps. I was happy but surprise. I’m basically unknown, and yet some people manage to find my post. Then I checked another post of mine, and it got 53 claps!
I never care about ‘like’ or ‘clap’ in this platform. Or so I thought. Whether I get greedy after receiving so many claps or just happy, now I realise that I like claps. I want it and I need it. Perhaps, all this time I just act cool and pretend to not care since most of the times I don’t receive any feedback. I’d be happy if I can get even 1–3 claps. I set the bar so low to avoid expecting too much and get disappointed. I suppose there’s only a thin line between I don’t care and I’m afraid.
But, what just happened gives me a revelation.
I thought I was just lazy for not writing regularly. Well, it’s not entirely wrong. But, what if there’s more to it? What if I am subconsciously think that my writings don’t matter, hence, why put so much effort to be consistent? No one read it anyway. I can just write when I feel like to. Whenever I want.
I am one of the people that detest marketing. The idea of promoting my work is uncomfortable. I naively think that if my work is good, people will read it anyway. It’s true that we shouldn’t only write something that people might like. What we actually want to say is always more important than likes. But, there will always an element of mutualism in any line of work. You sell a product and you need people to buy it. I write and I need people to read it. However, no one will use or buy what we offer if we never make ourselves known. Therefore, the recent revelation makes me want to be more engaged with people, not only because I need them, but also because their feedback is important. The good and even the bad.
With that said, I still won’t promote this blog since I am not active in any social media and I don’t have many friends. However, I won’t deny a need for more exposure. So, I told myself to write more regularly. If I write regularly, there will be more of my posts that people can find and read. I don’t know which of my writing will resonate with people, but the possibility to get likes is higher too. And even if I don’t write for likes, a like can be my inspiration to keep going and take this creative endeavor more wholeheartedly.
My first intention when writing has always been to write for the sake of my own creative pursuit and satisfaction. But now I am aware of how much I took for granted the importance of other people’s presence for my work. Because ultimately, what I want is to share the things that are residing in the deepest place of my heart so that I won’t feel too heavy and alone.
I believe that a great thing is bound to be found. But it’s arrogant of me to think that way without putting in a lot of effort, without even taking my work seriously.
Thank you for those of you who have read my writing and even clap it. You have given me more confidence.
